Thoughts of mine

Share your personal experiences with others. We're not here to judge or criticise, but to share and support.

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Thoughts of mine

Post by olyly94 » Tue Oct 23, 2018 5:10 am

I have been in Scn from mid 70 to mid 90, had been on staff in germany for together
10 years or so. Recently read through the main stories about Sea Org/Int/Ratbun and
how it is to be a Sea Org member these days.

In fact, I am a bit shocked. Shure I had some experiences on my on and observations
while being on staff. But what I had to read now I really cannot understand.

It looks for me that those still in the Sea Org need a course on how to survive in a
suppressive environment.

I want to tell some stories of mine. But in advance I have to explain some things.
Shure the non Scientologist and the nowadays Scientlologist who is only lied to cannot
grasp that Scn can make one more able and "OT". But for shure that was true.
Especially in the 70ies.

I had been the target from the Ethics Officer in the org many times. As I was not
saying YES to orders. I went home when I wanted to, even went out to go to a Disco
or simply had to work when pay was low.
Every time the Ethics Officer wanted to call me in, I managed to push him off post.
Somtimes the Ethics Officer went sick or had been sent to FOLO (europe headquarter)
or had been on ethics trouble himself. Thus I learned how to get rid of my enemies.

Later I did that with upper level people too. You only have to be strong enough and
willing to use your power. The main point is, willing to use your power.

Once we had a CMO Mission in the org. They introduced the "Gang Bang Sec Check".
Every staff got that kind of sec ceck. Guess what.. except me. Why? I am trained
auditor and was working next to the office those sec checks had been given. Thus
I decided to get that kind of sec check and find out exactly how it works and then
handle the people doing that. (the CMO Mission doing that) Could not do that cause
the mssn left and I did not get a sec check.

Once we had a really nasty int mssn in the org. Finally the mssnr had attention on
me and wanted to "handle" me. I spottet it thelepatically and guess what? He
instantly "had to go back home".

Let me tell a story from outside the Scn world. As I had been in the german army
I had been ordered a weekend to do the "watch".
(missing the english word. Quarter Master maybe.)
It is 24 hours on post to secure the building with little sleep.
The senior there ordered me a second turn on sunday.
I refused and sayed no. He screamed at me and in front of others doing the watch
in different buildings blamed me that we cannot sleep a second cause of me and bla bla.
Guess what.. nothing really happend.

If you are powefull use your power and insist of being free. Even inside Scn.
LRH says that suppressives can only resimulate and have no power of their own.
That is by my experience true.

I had onother experience in the German Army. I was the driver for a higher rank. I
think it was 3 ranks below General. Usually I followed usual orders. But with him
next to me I even drove left turn when he ordered me to do a right turn. I do not
know why. But I had some kind of unlike towards him that I did always not the way he
wanted me to do. Shure he was nuts. But I reacted to it. The situation became
really dangerous, as he once had been shouting at me and I had a blank while driving.
I did not notice. Someone behind me in the car tapped on my shoulder and I woke up.
Thus I decided to handle the situation. Thus I looked at it at home very closely and
the next day I not only had no longer been his driver but he was very friendly towards
me. A man at his rank usually never is shaking hands with a low grade I had been. But
he did. Thus, the situation had been handled and I had been no longer effect of him.

I cannot understand the story of DM and musical chairs. Those doing that should be the
top Scn ranks. What do they do? They behave like slaves. I think those should instantly
leave. Right now!
Ok maybe they signed the "pledge to all mankind". (i did not)
Basically if you signed that you agreed to be a slave. Read it carefully and you know.
But even if you signed it, fuck with it. Just cancel your agreement with it and Go.
Last edited by olyly94 on Wed Oct 24, 2018 4:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

Don Carlo
Posts: 12113
Joined: Mon Jul 25, 2005 6:20 am
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Re: Thoughts of mine

Post by Don Carlo » Tue Oct 23, 2018 5:18 pm

Welcome, olyly94
Many ex-Sea Org and staff people have been asked "Why did you sign up? Why didn't you resist abuse? Why didn't you leave?"
Sea Org makes many lofty promises about working near your family member and being a respected elite. Those who believed the lies found themselves trapped. Many wanted to leave, but delayed months or years, fearing disconnection from their families. They don't know that the staff contract or the Sea Org billion year contract is illegal and unenforceable, and they feared owing an enormous "freeloader's debt." They feared "losing their eternity" and were told the outside world was scary and they would starve and suffer outside.

Many DID suffer leave and suffered disconnection. Others saw CoS trumpeting their auditing confessions of embarrassing or illegal activities, or had their businesses destroyed.

You are fortunate to have a tough and aggressive character that fought back CoS abuse. You probably displayed high personal boundaries so others were reluctant to paw through your possessions, do endless interrogations, and force you to live in the worst crowded squalor.

People who grew up in Sea Org have low expectations of privacy and boundaries, so they put up with crowded conditions, interrogations, and people going through their mail and their personal stuff. They fear lying during sec checks because they think the interrogator can use the e-meter to "read their mind." Those born overseas had their passports locked away, and some didn't even have driver's licenses or a high school education.

Whether or not the person was raised in CoS, some people are conflict-averse or natural "followers." That doesn't make them bad or dumb people. They were trapped in a high-demand cult.

The people to blame are not those who left with traumatic stories to tell, but those who did the abuse. However, some were both an abuser and a victim, and it's appreciated if they apologize for their bad behavior.

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